dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
