He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
