dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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