Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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