Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
