don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
