He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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