Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
