Me too!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
