Umm I'm too high to move.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
