I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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