I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
