Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize