The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I didn't notice because vodka
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
