hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
