It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize