I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
