sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm at about main and main street
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
