wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
sarcasm needs its own font
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
