just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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