You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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