I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
