i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
