I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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