It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
