Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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