you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
