I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
