So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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