careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
