That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
