I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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