I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We are all done wearing pants today
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
