I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize