Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
