I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
