Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
foreskin is a definite game changer
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
