it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
