I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I looked at my own cervix.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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