Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
