I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
