he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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