When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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