just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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