their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
