nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize