Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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