they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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