I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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