How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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