Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
