piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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