What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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