K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
