i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize